theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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