somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
