so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
