No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize