end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
