Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
