for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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