Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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