I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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