A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize