yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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