Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
