There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
