I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
