Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You work out of a Hotel?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
