I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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