Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
