Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
