I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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