How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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