Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
