U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
