Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I still have a little drunk in my system
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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