the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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