Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
