Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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