She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
