There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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