I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
