Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i now understand why vodka
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
