Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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