I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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