Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
