I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
