Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
