Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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