don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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