did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
