He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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