I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
