I'm going to jail i love you
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize