Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
