You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
