shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
