In the future we'll all be gay
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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