Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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