No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
