Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
