It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
