I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize