It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
