its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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