And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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