There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
