The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
