Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
this just has baby written all over it
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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