I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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