Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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