i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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