it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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