i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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